On my radio show, Relationships 2.0, I interview guests who present their unique perspectives and expertise on topics that cover all aspects of relationships. The authors and experts I chat with offer advice and tips for understanding ourselves and others better.
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If you would like to search for a past show using keywords, see my blog.
OCTOBER– DECEMBER, 2014
My guest this week is Amy Alkon, author of Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck.
We live in a world that’s very different from the one in which Emily Post came of age. Many of us who are nice (but who also sometimes say “f*ck”) are frequently at a loss for guidelines about how to be a good person who deals effectively with the increasing onslaught of rudeness we all encounter.
To lead us out of the miasma of modern mannerlessness, science-based and bitingly funny syndicated advice columnist Amy Alkon rips the doily off the manners genre and gives us a new set of rules for our twenty-first century lives.
With wit, style, and a dash of snark, Alkon explains that we now live in societies too big for our brains, lacking the constraints on bad behavior that we had in the small bands we evolved in. Alkon shows us how we can reimpose those constraints, how we can avoid being one of the rude, and how to stand up to those who are.
Foregoing prissy advice on which utensil to use, Alkon answers the twenty-first century’s most burning questions about manners, including:
Combining science with more than a touch of humor, Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck is destined to give good old Emily a shove off the etiquette shelf (if that’s not too rude to say).
About the author:
Amy Alkon writes The Advice Goddess, an award-winning, syndicated column that runs in more than one hundred newspapers across the United States and Canada. She is also the author of I See Rude People. She has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MTV, and Entertainment Tonight and has a weekly radio show called Advice Goddess Radio. She has also written for Psychology Today, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times Magazine, Daily News (New York), and Pravda, among others. She lives in Venice, California.
This week my guest is Julia V. Taylor MA, author of The Body Image Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help Girls Develop a Healthy Body Image in an Image-Obsessed World.
Like most teens, you want to feel good about the way you look. But what happens when the way you look just doesn’t feel good enough? Whether it’s online, on TV, or in magazines, images of impossibly perfect—and mostly Photoshopped—young women are everywhere. As a result, you may feel an intense pressure to look a certain way. Your friends feel the pressure too, which often creates a secret comparison competition that can make you feel worse about yourself. So how can you start feeling good about who you are, as is?
In The Body Image Workbook for Teens, you’ll find practical exercises and tips that address the most common factors that can lead to negative body image, including: comparison, negative self-talk, unrealistic media images, societal and family pressures, perfectionism, toxic friendships, and a fear of disappointing others. You’ll also learn powerful coping strategies to deal with the daily, intense pressures of being a teenage girl.
Being a teen girl in today’s world is hard, and no one knows that more than you. But if you are ready to stop comparing yourself to others, silence your inner critic, and build authentic, lasting self-confidence—this book is your go-to guide.
About the author:
Julia V. Taylor, MA, is author of Salvaging Sisterhood and Perfectly You, and is coauthor of G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) and The Bullying Workbook for Teens. Taylor has worked as a middle and high school counselor and has a passion for empowering girls to stand up to unrealistic media expectations, take healthy risks, and cultivate meaningful relationships. Visit her online at www.juliavtaylor.com.
My guest is Shawn T. Smith, author of Surviving Aggressive People: Practical Violence Prevention Skills for the Workplace and the Street.
Whether an aggressor is a seasoned predator or an irate individual, hostility is almost always preceded by warning signs—if we know what to look for. Surviving Aggressive People dissects the psychology of aggression. It exposes the subtle cues of impending violence and offers timeless methods for transforming a potential disaster into a peaceful victory. Using time-tested methods for conflict management and crisis intervention, this book offers persuasion and peacemaking skills that historically have been reserved for law enforcement, psychologists, and other professionals working the front lines of emotionally charged situations. In today’s world, these skills are a must for everyone. Newly updated, with a special appendix for healthcare workers, the enduring knowledge in Surviving Aggressive People can help deter hostility before it spins out of control. It might even save your life.
About the author:
Shawn Smith is a clinical psychologist in Denver, Colorado and the author of three psychology books. He also writes a blog at ironshrink.com, where he answers important questions such as: Can dogs learn to read? Why do I feel amorous when I have a cold? Is my ex possessed? Shawn’s writing is light-hearted, impeccably researched, and always useful.
My guest this week is Marc Bekoff, PhD, author of Rewilding Our Hearts: Building Pathways of Compassion and Coexistence.
In wildlife conservation, rewilding refers to restoring habitats and creating corridors between preserved lands to allow declining populations to rebound. Marc Bekoff, one of the world’s leading animal experts and activists, here applies rewilding to human attitudes. Rewilding Our Hearts invites readers to do the essential work of becoming reenchanted with the world, acting from the inside out, and dissolving false boundaries to truly connect with both nature and themselves.
About the author:
Marc Bekoff is professor emeritus of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder. He is author of The Emotional Lives of Animals and Wild Justice, among many other titles. www.marcbekoff.com
My guest this week is Alan Fox, author of People Tools for Business: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy and Embracing Prosperity.
Getting along well with others is the real secret to success and happiness. In tens of thousands of classrooms we teach reading, writing, and arithmetic and yet we leave solutions to the universal problems of human relationships to be discovered, if at all, by trial and error. The trial is painful and the error is costly.
People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity, provides time-proven techniques that you can use to build a better, happier, more successful life. It is the perfect resource for busy people looking for fast and effective solutions to the challenges we face every day.
PRACTICAL WISDOM ON EVERY PAGE
People Tools are practical and easy to understand. From developing self-confidence, to improving communication skills, to finding constructive ways to resolve conflict, each People Tool addresses a specific issue and provides a simple, straightforward strategy that you can adopt to bring about a positive result. Some of the useful People Tools in the book include:
TIME-TESTED TOOLS TO ENHANCE YOUR WELLBEING
Although you may recognize the more intuitive techniques in People Tools, this sourcebook provides explanations and helpful examples from a vast collection of different tools designed to help you further expand your own existing repertoire of skills.
Open the book to any page and you will find a useful solution. Each tool is illustrated with insightful stories and amusing anecdotes that are relevant and relatable. The stories will reel you in but the advice will change your life.
About the author:
Alan Fox has enjoyed a number of lifetimes during the past seventy-two years. He has university degrees in accounting, law, education, and professional writing. He has been employed as a Tax Supervisor for a national CPA firm, established his own law firm, and founded a commercial real estate company in 1968 that now owns and manages more than seventy major income-producing properties in eleven states.
Fox is the founder, editor, and publisher of Rattle, one of the most respected literary magazines in the United States, and he sits on the board of directors of several non-profit foundations. People Tools is the distillation of his experience in accounting, law, real estate, poetry, three marriages, and raising six children, two step children, and one foster child.
My guest this week is Gina Vucci, co-author of The Relationship Handbook: A Path to Consciousness, Healing and Growth.
Using knowledge and skills honed over a lifetime of teaching and learning, personal development pioneer Shakti Gawain presents a powerful, life-changing work on a subject she has always been passionate about: our relationships. In her popular workshops and in her personal life, she has tested and refined the insights and exercises in this book, which she cowrote with her longtime collaborator Gina Vucci. Their approach reflects the fact that each of us is in relationships not only with romantic partners, family, coworkers, and children, but also with internal core beliefs and a variety of selves, including primary, disowned, and shadow selves.
These revelatory teachings incorporate strategies for becoming aware of hidden beliefs, applying the Voice Dialogue process developed by Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, and learning to experience every relationship as a path to self-knowledge. Through her gentle guidance, Shakti shows us how every relationship we have at every moment can be seen as a path toward greater consciousness, healing, and growth.
There is no other book on relationships like this. Give this powerful book even a short amount of time and prepare yourself for some truly remarkable results!
About the co-author:
Gina has worked with Shakti Gawain, a pioneer in the field for personal growth, for more than 15 years. Gina co-leads workshops, facilitates groups and has contributed to Shakti’s best selling products including Developing Intuition, and revised editions of Creative Visualization and Living In The Light. Gina has been trained and certified in a number of counseling fields. She brings a deep level of experience, wisdom and joy to her work with others teaching, speaking, and writing.
Here is a snapshot of Gina: Gina is a “Soccer Mom.” She is a single mom raising three inspired children, a survivor of domestic violence, a sober alcoholic for over twenty six years, a mentor, a friend, an advocate, a seeker. Her journey has brought her to a place of knowing that life holds something extraordinary for each of us. Her faith and hope has brought insight and inspiration to many. Her passion is to support people in recognizing their true potential for joy, freedom and empowerment.
My guest this week is Marney Makridakis author of Hop, Skip, Jump: 75 Ways to Playfully Manifest a Meaningful Life.
Most of us view work and play as mutually exclusive opposites, but now you can blend them together in your new route to joy-filled success. The 75 techniques in this book will guide you to be more playful and productive as you move through three vital phases of the manifestation process: dreaming (Hop), experimenting (Skip), and taking action (Jump). Discover your Play Personality and learn how to use it to create more experiences in which work feels like play, and struggle gives way to momentum, ease, and joy.
About the author:
Marney K. Makridakis is the bestselling author of Creating Time and founder of ArtellaLand.com, the groundbreaking online community for creators of all kinds. She has trained hundreds of coaches and practitioners through the ARTbundance Certification Training program.
I am continuing my conversation with Linda Carroll about her transformative book Love Cycles….
This week my guest is Linda Carroll, author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Love.
About the book:
In Love Cycles, veteran couples therapist Linda Carroll presents a groundbreaking model of the five natural stages of romantic relationships — the Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, Decision, and Wholehearted Love — and a guide for navigating through them toward lasting love. Love Cycles helps readers understand where they are in the cycle of their relationship and provides a clear strategy for how to stay happy and committed, even in difficult times.
About the author:
Linda Carroll, MS, has worked as a couple’s therapist for more than 30 years. In addition to being a licensed psychotherapist, she is certified in Transpersonal Psychology and Imago Therapy, the highly successful form of couple’s therapy developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. She is also a master teacher in the Pairs Psychoeducation Process, a nationally-recognized relationship education program for couples.
Linda has studied many modalities of psychological and spiritual work, including Voice Dialogue with Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, Holotropic Breathwork with Dr. Stan Grof, the Four-Fold With Angeles Arrien, the Diamond Heart Work of A.H. Almaas, and training with The Couples Institute of Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. She is also certified in the Hot Monogamy program, which helps couples create or re-create a passionate connection between them.
Linda works with a limited number of couples regularly in a new style of “concierge therapy,” in which she travels to their home or office for 2-6 days per year for private, all-day sessions, offering ongoing Skype and phone sessions in between. She teaches workshops and delivers keynote addresses throughout the United States and is a frequent speaker at Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico.
Linda lives in Corvallis, Oregon, with her veterinarian husband, Tim Barraud, and their dog, a Jack Russell Terrier. She has five children and nine grandchildren. In 2006, her memoir, Her Mother’s Daughter, was published by Doubleday. In 2008, Remember Who You Are was published by Conari Press in San Francisco Her recent book, Love Cycles:The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love was released in the fall of 2014 by New World Library.
This week my guest is Eric Maisel, PhD author of Life Purpose Boot Camp: The 8-week Breakthrough Plan for Creating a Meaningful Life.
As life gets busier and more complicated we crave something larger and more meaningful than just ticking another item off our to-do list. In the past, we’ve looked to religion or outside guidance for that sense of purpose, but today fewer people are fulfilled by traditional approaches to meaning. Bestselling author, psychotherapist, and creativity coach Eric Maisel offers an alternative: an eight-week intensive that breaks through barriers and offers insights for living each day with purpose. Once you understand how meaning operates, how meaning and life purpose are related, and what concrete steps you can take toward fulfilling your purpose, you will never run out of meaning again. This program will develop self-awareness and self-confidence and give you what you need to fully live the best possible life.
About the author:
Eric Maisel, Ph.D., widely regarded as America’s foremost creativity coach, is the author of more than 40 books. His titles include Secrets of a Creativity Coach, Why Smart People Hurt, Making Your Creative Mark, Coaching the Artist Within, The Van Gogh Blues, Fearless Creating, Mastering Creative Anxiety, Creativity for Life, A Writer’s Paris, A Writer’s San Francisco, and many others.
In addition to training creativity coaches, leading workshops nationally and internationally, and maintaining an individual creativity coaching practice, Dr. Maisel is in the forefront of the movement to rethink mental health. He writes the Rethinking Psychology blog for Psychology Today and among his books in this area are Rethinking Depression and Natural Psychology: the New Psychology of Meaning.
Dr. Maisel leads Deep Writing workshops at workshop centers like Esalen, Kripalu, Omega, Hollyhock and Rowe and in locales like San Francisco, New York, London, Paris, Prague and Rome. His books have been translated into more than a dozen languages, he has conducted hundreds of interviews, and his print column “Coaching the Artist Within” appears monthly in Professional Artist Magazine.
This week my guest is Shoshana Bennett, PhD author of Children of the Depressed: Healing the Childhood Wounds That Come From Growing Up With A Depressed Parent.
Have you ever wondered, Why am I so negative? or Why is my life so chaotic? Whether or not your parent was ever formally diagnosed with depression, you’ve probably always known there was something different about your upbringing. And even though you’ve grown up and moved on, you may still feel the after-effects of living with your parent’s illness.
In Children of the Depressed, a depression expert helps adult children understand and overcome common problems that stem from growing up with a depressed parent, such as poor communication skills and negative self-talk. Using skills and practices rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you will learn to shed the old dynamics and ways of thinking that have been weighing you down and keeping you from enjoying healthy relationships and the life you deserve.
Most books on depression only focus on getting help for the depressed person. This book is written for you, the adult child of parents with who have struggled with depression. You need emotional healing after a dysfunctional childhood, and most importantly—you need an opportunity for your voice to be heard.
You don’t have to become stuck in the past. By identifying and recognizing the feelings you experienced at a young age, you will start laying the groundwork for a happier and healthier life—socially, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
About the author:
Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (“Dr. Shosh”) from the popular DrShosh.com Radio Show is the author of Pregnant on Prozac, Postpartum Depression For Dummies, and co-author of Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety. She is also the creator of the new mobile app PPD Gone. National TV shows including “20/20,” “Discovery Channel,” “The Doctors” and “The Ricki Lake Show” feature Dr. Shosh as the pregnancy and postpartum mood expert and news stations such as CNN consult her. Several publications including the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Jose Mercury News have written articles on Dr. Shosh’s work. She’s interviewed regularly on national radio and has been quoted in dozens of newspapers and magazines such as The Wall Street Journal, WebMD, Boston Globe, Fit Pregnancy, Glamour, Parenting, Psychology Today, New York Post, Self, Cosmopolitan, and the Chicago Tribune.
Dr. Shosh is a pioneer in the field. She is a survivor of two life-threatening postpartum depressions. She founded Postpartum Assistance for Mothers in 1987, and is a former president of Postpartum Support International. Dr. Shosh helped develop the official Postpartum Support International training curriculum for professionals which is now considered the gold standard in the field. She has helped over 19,000 women worldwide through individual consultations, support groups and wellness seminars. As a noted guest lecturer and keynote speaker, she travels throughout the US and abroad, training medical and mental health professionals to assess and treat postpartum depression and related mood and anxiety disorders. She earned three teaching credentials, two masters degrees, a Ph.D. and is licensed as a clinical psychologist.
My guest this week is Brian Leaf author of Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi: My Humble Quest to Heal My Colitis, Calm my ADD, and Find the Key to Happiness.
As a college freshman business major suffering from a variety of anxiety-related maladies, Brian Leaf stumbled into an elective: yoga. It was 1989. All his classmates were female. And men did not yet generally “cry, hug, or do yoga.” But yoga soothed and calmed Leaf as nothing else had. As his hilarious and wise tale shows, Leaf embarked on a quest for health and happiness — visiting yoga studios around the country and consulting Ayurvedic physicians, swamis, and even (accidentally) a prostitute. Twenty-one years later, he teaches yoga and meditation and is the beloved founder of a holistic tutoring center that helps students whose ailments he once shared.
About the author:
Brian Leaf, M.A., is the author of eleven books, including Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi, Name That Movie!, Defining Twilight, and McGraw-Hill’s Top 50 Skills for a Top Score. He is the only man alive to have written both a yoga memoir and multiple test-prep guides. He is not sure if this is a noble or dubious distinction.
Brian is Director of the New Leaf Learning Center in Massachusetts, where he has helped thousands of students from throughout the United States manage ADD and overcome test and math phobias.
Brian graduated from Georgetown University in 1993 with a B.A. in Business, English, and Theology.
In 1999, he completed a Masters through Lesley College specializing in yoga and ayurveda for Attention Deficit Disorder. Brian is certified as a Yoga Instructor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, Massage Therapist, Energyworker, and Holistic Educator, and he is an avid meditator. He has also dabbled with Bach Flower Essences, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, Reiki, Shiatsu, and Tai Chi. Can you top that?
So what’s the connection between yoga and test-prep? Let’s just say that one of Brian’s first yoga teaching gigs was at the ETS corporation (Educational Testing Service) in Princeton, NJ. They’re the folks who make the SAT. So now Brian gets paid hundreds of dollars per hour to share what he learned while the test-makers were half asleep in relaxation pose.
This week my guest is Ruth White, PhD author of Preventing Bipolar Relapse: A Lifestyle Program to Help You Maintain a Balanced Mood and Live Well.
If you buy just one book on bipolar disorder, let this be it. There’s an old saying: “Prevention is better than cure.” If you have bipolar disorder, this is especially true. For you, it’s incredibly important to read the warning signs of a possible episode. For instance, you may find you are not sleeping as well as usual, or you might be sleeping too much. You may stop doing things that you normally enjoy, or you may start acting out your impulses in ways that alienate those around you or get you into trouble.
While the path to wellness for those with bipolar may involve psychiatric visits and medication adjustments, preventing manic and depressive episodes is the true key to staying healthy and happy. So how do you do it? And most importantly, how can you keep yourself motivated?
In this powerful, breakthrough book, bipolar expert Ruth C. White shares her own personal approach to relapse prevention using the innovative program SNAP (Sleep, Nutrition, Activity, and People). White also offers practical tips and tracking tools you can use anytime, anywhere. By making necessary lifestyle adjustments, you can maintain balanced moods, recognize the warning signs of an oncoming episode, and make the necessary changes to reduce or prevent it.
This is the first and only book on bipolar disorder that focuses exclusively on prevention. To help you stay well, White includes links to helpful online tracking tools so that you can manage your symptoms, anytime, anywhere. If you are ready to stop living in fear of your next episode, this life-changing book can help you take charge of your diagnosis—and your life.
About the author:
Dr. Ruth C. White is Clinical Associate Professor in the School of Social Work at the University of Southern California. Prior to USC, Dr. White received tenure at Seattle University where she taught since graduating with a PhD in social welfare from the University of California, Berkeley (2002-2013). She has masters degrees in social work (McGill) and public health (UC Berkeley) and has spent many years working in psycho-social treatment programs, correctional programs, and child welfare in the USA, Canada and the UK. She was inspired to write Bipolar 101 as a result of successfully dealing with her own challenges with bipolar disorder. Her latest book, Preventing Bipolar Relapse, is the first book on bipolar disorder to focus on prevention and details her SNAP (sleep, nutrition, activity, people) approach to prevention that is based on the latest scientific research on bipolar disorder. She is available for public speaking on mental health stigma and preventing bipolar disorder using the holistic, science-based approach found in Preventing Bipolar Relapse.
Her blog, bipolar-101.blogspot.com, summarizes some of the latest scientific research on bipolar disorder using language anyone can understand. For more information see her website: ruthcwhite.com Follow her on Twitter: @ruthcwhite
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