If you are in a relationship with someone who you feel is a critical partner, if you feel as if your partner unfairly judges you, if you feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that are blown out of proportion or beyond your control, or if you feel that your partner consistently looks for things about you to criticize, then this book is for you.
A common and destructive part of many relationships, criticism is particularly hurtful when it attacks your personality or character, threatening your self- esteem. This book will help you if you feel criticized or perhaps even verbally abused by your partner. It is not meant to help people whose partners threaten violence or are physically abusive. Please seek immediate professional help if your safety is compromised.
This book provides the skills and self- knowledge that you will need to make some necessary changes in your relationship. Making these positive changes in your relationship will take time, perseverance, consistency, and strength. You will need to commit to helping you and your partner get to a healthier and happier place in your relationship. When you adopt the alternative coping strategies that are explained in this book, your partner’s interactions with you will change whether or not she is consciously aware of your changed behavior. If your partner has expressed a desire to change the critical and angry behavior, then you may choose to include him in the assessment and exercises presented in this book. If your partner won’t acknowledge having a critical attitude or becomes defensive when you discuss your experience, then it may be best for you to use the book on your own and make the changes unilaterally. Either way, when you make the suggested changes in your interactions with your partner, you’ll notice her changing in response.