This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Allie Rowbottom author of The Jell-O Girls: A Family History

About the book: In 1899, Allie Rowbottom’s great-great-great-uncle bought the patent to Jell-O from its inventor for $450. The sale would turn out to be one of the most profitable business deals in American history, and the generations that followed enjoyed immense privilege – but they were also haunted by suicides, cancer, alcoholism, and mysterious ailments. More than 100 years after that deal was struck, Allie’s mother Mary was diagnosed with the same incurable cancer, a disease that had also claimed her own mother’s life. Determined to combat what she had come to consider the “Jell-O curse” and her looming mortality, Mary began obsessively researching her family’s past, determined to understand the origins of her illness and the impact on her life of Jell-O and the traditional American values the company championed. Before she died in 2015, Mary began to send Allie boxes of her research and notes, in the hope that her daughter might write what she could not. JELL-O GIRLS is the liberation of that story. A gripping examination of the dark side of an iconic American product and a moving portrait of the women who lived in the shadow of its fractured fortune, JELL-O GIRLS is a family history, a feminist history, and a story of motherhood, love and loss. In crystalline prose Rowbottom considers the roots of trauma not only in her own family, but in the American psyche as well, ultimately weaving a story that is deeply personal, as well as deeply connected to the collective female experience. A “gorgeous” (New York Times) memoir that braids the evolution of one of America’s most iconic branding campaigns with the stirring tales of the women who lived behind its facade – told by the inheritor of their stories. A New York Times Editors’ Choice One of People Magazine’s Best Books of Summer An Amazon Best Book of the Month An Indie Next Pick A Real Simple Best Book of 2018

About the author: Allie Rowbottom received her BA from New York University, her MFA from the California Institute of the Arts and her PhD in Creative Writing and Literature from the University of Houston. Her work has received scholarships, essay prizes and honorable mentions from Tin House, Inprint, the Best American Essays series, the Florida Review, The Bellingham Review, the Black Warrior Review, The Southampton Review, and Hunger Mountain. She lives in Los Angeles.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Jonice Webb, PhD author of Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children 

About the book:

Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children.

About the author:

Jonice Webb, PhD is a licensed psychologist, and author of the groundbreaking bestseller, Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Dr. Webb has been interviewed by NPR and the Chicago Tribune, and featured in Psychology Today and Elephant Journal. She writes the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog on psychcentral.com. Dr. Webb has an outpatient psychotherapy practice in Lexington, Massachusetts.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Mary DeMocker author of The Parents’ Guide to Climate Revolution: 100 Ways to Build a Fossil-Free Future, Raise Empowered Kids, and Still Get a Good Night’s Sleep

About the book:

“Relax,” writes author Mary DeMocker, “this isn’t another light bulb list. It’s not another overwhelming pile of parental ‘to dos’ designed to shrink your family’s carbon footprint through eco-superheroism.” Instead, DeMocker lays out a lively, empowering, and doable blueprint for engaging families in the urgent endeavor of climate revolution. In this book’s brief, action-packed chapters, you’ll learn hundreds of wide-ranging ideas for being part of the revolution — from embracing simplicity parenting, to freeing yourself from dead-end science debates, to teaching kids about the power of creative protest, to changing your lifestyle in ways that deepen family bonds, improve moods, and reduce your impact on the Earth. Engaging and creative, this vital resource is for everyone who wants to act effectively — and empower children to do the same.

About the author:

Mary has reveled in an artistic life, performing the harp, dressing sets for NYC films, and now using the arts to mobilize for climate justice. Mary is the co-founder of 350 Eugene, where she leads interactive art projects and rallies, including one featured in a PBS NewsHour broadcast about children suing the government for their right to a livable planet. In conjunction with Paris climate talks, Mary led the Climate March & Public Art Project featured in the London-based global art festival ArtCOP21 and included in the Avaaz video shown to world leaders entering UN talks. A National Endowment for the Arts grant recipient and winner of the 2008 Kay Snow Award for Nonfiction, Mary lives with her family in Oregon. She is available for workshops and lectures and can be reached through her website at www.marydemocker.com.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Daniel S. Lobel, PhD author of When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder

About the book:

In this groundbreaking book, psychologist Daniel Lobel offers essential skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you understand your daughter’s disorder, define appropriate boundaries, put an end to daily emergencies, and rebuild the family’s structure from the ground up.

If you have a daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may feel frustration, shame, and your family may be at the breaking point dealing with angry outbursts, threats, and constant emergencies. You may even feel guilty for not enjoying spending time with your child—but how can you when her behavior is abusive toward you and the rest of your family? You need solid skills you can use now to help your daughter and hold your family together.

In this important guide, you’ll learn real solutions and strategies based in proven-effective DBT and CBT to help you weather the storm of BPD and restore a sense of normalcy and balance in your life. You’ll find an overview of BPD so you can better understand the driving forces behind your daughter’s difficult behavior. You’ll discover how you can help your daughter get the help she needs while also setting boundaries that foster respect and self-care for you and others in your family. And, most importantly, you’ll learn “emergency parenting techniques” to help you put a stop to abusive patterns and restore peace.

If your daughter has BPD and your family is struggling to make it through each day, this book offers essential skills to help you cope and recover a sense of stability.

About the author:

Daniel S. Lobel, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and has given classes at both State University of New York (SUNY) at Purchase and the State University of New York College of Optometry. He has written chapters in many textbooks and contributes frequently as a guest blogger on the Psychology Today website. Lobel is a psychologist with a private practice. He resides in Katonah, NY.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Danya Ruttenberg author of Nurture the Wow: Finding Spirituality in the Frustration, Boredom, Tears, Poop, Desperation, Wonder, and Radical Amazement of Parenting

About the book:

A deeply affecting, funny, insightful meditation that challenges readers to find the spiritual meaning of parenting.

Every day, parents are bombarded by demands. The pressures of work and life are relentless; our children’s needs are often impossible to meet; and we rarely, if ever, allow ourselves the time and attention necessary to satisfy our own inner longings. Parenthood is difficult, demanding, and draining. And yet, argues Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, if we can approach it from a different mindset, perhaps the work of parenting itself can offer the solace we seek.

Rooted in Judaism but incorporating a wide-range of religious and literary traditions, Nurture the Wowasks, Can ancient ideas about relationships, drudgery, pain, devotion, and purpose help make the hard parts of a parent’s job easier and the magical stuff even more so? Ruttenberg shows how parenting can be considered a spiritual practice—and how seeing it that way can lead to transformation. This is a parenthood book, not a parenting book; it shows how the experiences we have as parents can change us for the better.

Enlightening, uplifting, and laugh-out-loud funny, Nurture the Wow reveals how parenthood—in all its crazy-making, rage-inducing, awe and joy-filled moments—can actually be the path to living fully, authentically, and soulfully.

About the author:

Danya Ruttenberg was named one of ten “rabbis to watch” by Newsweek and one of the “50 most influential women rabbis” by The Forward. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Salon, and elsewhere. Her first book, Surprised by God,was nominated for a Sami Rohr Prize for Jewish literature and was a Hadassah Book Club selection. She lives in the Chicago area with her husband and children.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Erin Leyba, PhD author of Joy Fixes for Weary Parents: 101 Quick, Research-Based Ideas for Overcoming Stress and Building a Life You Love

About the book:

Modern parenting presents fresh challenges, including unrelenting time pressures, lack of support systems, and work demands, that often leave parents drained and worn-out. Erin Leyba, the mother of three young children, has been counseling parents on these issues for almost twenty years. She has developed techniques that help parents not only cope but also feel joy — in their parenting and in their relationships with their partners. Leyba draws from the latest research about child development, attachment, successful marriages, and mindfulness to create effective, doable solutions for balancing, simplifying, and communicating. She presents powerful tools that parents can use right away to de-stress, stay energized, and create more warmth and passion with loved ones. Whether new, veteran, overwhelmed, exhausted, or just interested in doing better than they are, parents will find proven help here.

About the author:

Erin Leyba, PhD, an individual and marriage counselor, specializes in helping parents of young children. In addition to her popular blogs, she speaks often to parenting and childcare groups. Leyba lives in the Chicago area.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Amy J. L. Baker, PhD author of Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce: A Workbook for Children Coping with Divorce, Parental Alienation, and Loyalty Conflicts.

About the book:

Is your child stuck in the middle of a high-conflict divorce? In Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce, two psychologists and experts in parental alienation offer a fun and engaging workbook to help kids work through stressful or confusing emotions and feel safe and loved—no matter what.

Divorce is never easy. But for kids who have parents in conflict with one another, or where one parent is so hostile that he or she is actively trying to undermine the kids’ relationship with the other parent, divorce can be unbearable. This workbook is designed especially for kids, and includes helpful tips and exercises to help them deal with the negative impact of custody disputes, understand and identify their feelings, learn to cope with stress and other complex emotions, and feel secure.

Written by two leading experts in child psychology, this easy-to-use workbook includes a number of helpful suggestions to guide children though a number of possible scenarios, such as what to do if one parent says mean and untrue things about the other parent; what to do if a parent asks them to keep secrets from another parent; or what to do if one parent attempts to replace the other parent with a new spouse.

If you have or know a child that is dealing with a difficult divorce, this workbook will give them the tools needed to move past loyalty conflicts and the difficult emotions that can arise when parents don’t get along.

About the author:

Amy J. L. Baker PhD is a national expert on parental alienation and author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndome. Baker has a PhD in human development from Teachers College, Columbia University.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Karen Maezen Miller, author of Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood.

About the book:

Combining humor, honesty, and plainspoken advice, Momma Zen distills the doubts and frustrations of parenting into vignettes of Zen wisdom.

Drawing on her experience as a first-time mother, and on her years of Zen meditation and study, Miller explores how the daily challenges of parenthood can become the most profound spiritual journey of our lives.

This compelling and wise memoir follows the timeline of early motherhood from pregnancy through toddlerhood. Momma Zen takes readers on a transformative journey, charting a mother’s growth beyond naive expectations and disorientation to finding fulfillment in ordinary tasks, developing greater self-awareness and acceptance—to the gradual discovery of “maternal bliss,” a state of abiding happiness and ease that is available to us all.

In her gentle and reassuring voice, Karen Miller convinces us that ancient and authentic spiritual lessons can be as familiar as a lullaby, as ordinary as pureed peas, and as frequent as a sleepless night. She offers encouragement for the hard days, consolation for the long haul, and the lightheartedness every new mom needs to face the crooked path of motherhood straight on.

About the author:

Karen Maezen Miller is a wife and mother as well as a Zen Buddhist priest at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. She and her family live in Sierra Madre, California, with a century-old Japanese garden in their backyard. She writes about spirituality in everyday life. She is the author of Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, and her writing is included in numerous anthologies.

Due to technical difficulties at the radio station, the regularly scheduled “live” show did not air. The guest has been rescheduled for a future date.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Anthony Biglan, PhD author of The Nurture Effect: How the Science of Human Behavior Can Improve Our Lives and Our World.

About the book:

A fascinating look at the evolution of behavioral science, the revolutionary way it’s changing the way we live, and how nurturing environments can increase people’s well-being in virtually every aspect of our society, from early childhood education to corporate practices. If you want to know how you can help create a better world, read this book.

What if there were a way to prevent criminal behavior, mental illness, drug abuse, poverty, and violence? Written by behavioral scientist Tony Biglan, and based on his ongoing research at the Oregon Research Institute, The Nurture Effect offers evidence-based interventions that can prevent many of the psychological and behavioral problems that plague our society.

For decades, behavioral scientists have investigated the role our environment plays in shaping who we are, and their research shows that we now have the power within our own hands to reduce violence, improve cognitive development in our children, increase levels of education and income, and even prevent future criminal behaviors. By cultivating a positive environment in all aspects of society—from the home, to the classroom, and beyond—we can ensure that young people arrive at adulthood with the skills, interests, assets, and habits needed to live healthy, happy, and productive lives.

The Nurture Effect details over forty years of research in the behavioral sciences, as well as the author’s own research. Biglan illustrates how his findings lay the framework for a model of societal change that has the potential to reverberate through all environments within society.

About the author:

Anthony Biglan, PhD, is a senior scientist at Oregon Research Institute and a leading figure in the development of prevention science. His research over the past thirty years has helped to identify effective family, school, and community interventions to prevent all of the most common and costly problems of childhood and adolescence. He is a leader in efforts to use prevention science to build more nurturing families, schools, and communities throughout the world. Biglan lives in Eugene, Oregon.

In recent years, his work has shifted to more comprehensive interventions that have the potential to prevent the entire range of child and adolescent problems. He and colleagues at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences published a book summarizing the epidemiology, cost, etiology, prevention, and treatment of youth with multiple problems. He is a former president of the Society for Prevention Research. He was a member of the Institute of Medicine Committee on Prevention, which released its report in 2009 documenting numerous evidence-based interventions that can prevent multiple problems.

My guest this week on Relationships 2.0 is Christopher Willard PsyD, author of Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety: A Workbook for Overcoming Anxiety at Home, at School, and Everywhere Else.

About the book:

Being a teen is hard enough without anxiety getting in the way. You are changing more than ever before, not just physically, but mentally. And if you suffer from panic attacks, chronic worry, and feelings of isolation, it can be very difficult to meet your goals and succeed. The good news is that there are real, powerful ways that you can take control of your anxiety—and your life!

In Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety, psychologist and learning specialist Christopher Willard offers teens like you proven-effective, mindfulness-based practices to help you cope with your anxiety, identify common triggers (such as dating or school performance), learn valuable time-management skills, and feel more calm at home, at school, and with friends.

You’ll learn tips for dealing with specific situations that cause anxiety, such as public speaking, social anxiety, test anxiety, and more. You’ll also learn special breathing exercises to help calm you in moments of panic, and guided visualization exercises to help you stay cool and collected, even in the tensest situations.

If you are ready to move past your anxiety, panic, and worry and start living the life you were meant to live, this book will be your guide—every step of the way.

About the author:

Christopher Willard received his Bachelor’s degree from Wesleyan University, where he first became interested in meditation. Over the past ten years, he has attended workshops and retreats with a number of Buddhist teachers including Thich Nhat Hanh, Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, Noah Levine, and others in both the U.S. and in Asia.

In the past few years, he has taught meditation to a wide range of people, from young children to recently paroled murderers, to psychotherapists. He completed his postdoctoral training in clinical psychology at Tufts University where he now works as a psychotherapist. He has consulted to and been quoted in a number of print and online publications. Christopher lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts and when not working he enjoys traveling, cooking, hiking, reading and any combination of these he can manage.